Friday, December 4, 2009

Keeping up with the Australians

That sex-god and financial genius Don Brash has decided that in order to catch up with the standard of living in Australia it would be useful to create a vast poorly paid underclass here in NZ.


But really - how does the hypothetical conversation go, when the right wing reflect on how they might make good on their promise to raise our wages in NZ so they are as high as those in Aussie?

Right-Wing Mover & Shaker: So what is the situation over in Australia?

Right-Wing Flunkie: Well they have strong unions and a Labour Government sir.

Right-Wing Mover & Shaker: (Splutters) That'll never do! What else have they got over us?

Right-Wing Flunkie: Well they have uranium and a host of other valuable minerals.

Right-Wing Mover & Shaker: That's more like it. Have the relevant agencies run around and do the testing for that stuff immediately. We need an audit before we can sell off the family silver!

Right-Wing Flunkie: Unfortunately sir, any significant unexploited mineral wealth is likely to be located in our scenic and nature reserves. It might interfere with our tourism, not to mention the hit to the "clean green" bullshit that goes over so well for our agricultural sector.

Right-Wing Mover & Shaker: Nonsense! Get on to it straight away. Seize the moment while we're still high in the polls! Make sure we get a new pic of John Key grinning his head off plastered over all the news bulletins. Oh and get Tariana on the phone, better square it all up with the Maori Party elite. Give the ruling class bros a bloody mountain back somewhere and shut them up. You can spin this one, surely! Can't believe how well this lark is working so far! What morons New Zealanders are, basically! Hehe! God I love my job!

Right Wing Flunkie: Bob's your uncle! (Exits to carry out his other job as a TV journalist.)

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